As a result, there are Black Friday types you need to prepare for (for those that consider shopping an act of war), so who are they and what should you know?
The Tactical Family Unit
You know the group. In the parking lot everything looks normal, and suburban. But as soon as this family enters the store, everybody splits up like an ant colony ready to do the bidding for its queen. It’s wise on their part; “many hands make light work” as the saying goes. But for those with little patience, the experience with this shopper adversary can be trying.
Szechaun Syndrome (Overly Aggressive Buyers of the Obscure)
In the digital era, pop culture can wield a broad sword – literally. Well not quite literally, but if you have no idea what the show Rick and Morty is, then this young man’s impression (below) of a cartoon character that turns himself into a pickle should be terrifying even if you’re IN on the joke.
TL;DR – one of the show’s punchlines involved the main character traveling back in time to bring back McDonald’s ‘Szechaun Sauce’ featured briefly for the Disney film, Mulan.
Unfortunately for the rest of humanity, the number of shoppers like this isn’t a small group. By millennial aggressive buyer of obscure products is a force to be reckoned with by virtue of being so unpredictable. Of course, that’s not to say baby boomers are perfect.
Naive I-Was-Here-First Overnighters
It’s nice to know that shoppers can be considerate on such a hectic day, but if the passive lets the aggressive win the battle of holiday shopping, what difference do good intentions make if the resulting conflict is still chaos? IWHFO (I-was-here-first-overnighters) expect a level of respect and decency to the proceedings. As such, there’s no hustle to their game (be it at the level of walking or buying). They expect everyone to play by the rules of a game that wants nothing to do with rules. They’re like drivers paying close attention to the speed limit in the middle of a volcanic eruption directly behind everyone. We appreciate your ethics IWHFO’s, but black Friday shopping is a game, and like Herm Edwards famously said – “you play to win.”
Mad Maxed Master Carders
Conversely, some shoppers play the game without the entry fee. Watch out for shoppers who look like they’re buying more than they can afford. That doesn’t mean profiling – which, despite what that new Netflix show tells you, does not work in “getting inside the mind of a killer”. But it does mean, if the guy in front of you is holding a pair of X-Boxes, and Victoria’s Secret, and appears to be sweating profusely from the crown of his head – perhaps it’s a good time to pick another line. Or the screaming banshee in front of you.
Many people do their shopping online. Which is a good thing. What’s not good is that, depending on the holiday, up to over six millions shoppers can be at risk of identity theft. Make sure you’re never not using your own data plan, as one in five consumers make transactions on unsecured connections. If you know Russian, you can actually take a class on cybercrime. And eBay can be used as an ATM proxy if fraudsters are savvy enough.
For a Free Credit Evaluation to make sure your interest rates are always low enough to avoid getting so desperate you need to steal from a child, call us at 210-520-0796.